As I was picking raspberries I came across this grouping of berries up underneath the vines and leaves. My immediate “blink” reaction was: That’s just like parenting!
These berries are not ready to be picked yet. They are not mature yet. And so, the protective bracts surrounding the developing berries are closed tight.
Though … some of the berries appear (from my vantage point) to be ripe. But no! The protective bracts are clinging on tightly. They will not let go of the unripe berry!
What a terrific picture of parenting!
When our kids are little, our parenting is like the protective bracts which are almost closed completely over the small developing berry. As a parent of a small child … and even an elementary-age child … we keep our protective “parental bracts” almost completely closed as our child develops. They are developing and forming their view of life, their view of the world, their view of right/wrong, their view of authority, their view of their own identity. We protect and safeguard our children in this phase.
Here you can see the protective bracts have fully opened up! This right here is the ultimate goal of parenting. The berry is mature. The berry is ripe and ready to be made into delicious jam or enjoyed as a breakfast treat on yogurt & granola.
But also notice in the background – there is a berry which is almost mature. The berry is basically formed; and it is beginning to turn pale red in color. This could represent the middle school years. In the middle school years our kids are almost mature. What they believe about life, what they believe about the world, what they believe about right/wrong, what they believe about authority, what they believe about their own identity is basically set at this point.
But they are not fully mature yet. They still need the protective “parental bracts” to keep them from being “picked” too soon. They still need a bit more time to finish maturing.
During the high school years, the protective “parental bracts” fold back to release the berry. By the end of high school, our kids are ready to be “launched” out into the world as they head off to college or begin an internship or a job.
In this photo, notice how the raspberry plant is literally pushing the berry off its base. When it comes to “launching” our kids, as parents we likewise “push” our kids. Not in an unloving or unkind way. But in a way just like the raspberry plant. The berry is now fully formed. There is no need for it to stay on the plant any longer. It is time for the berry to go out into the world and be what it was made to be – delicious jam or a breakfast treat!
Here is another example of the protective bracts fully retracted, allowing the berry to be picked from the plant.
And so, this is what we do as parents. We retract our protective “parental bracts” and we allow our kids to go out into the world to be who God made them to be. Our kids want to be released! Our kids want to go out and figure out their place in this world.
Though I have to mention, sometimes there are some kids who aren’t too keen on launching out into the world to become an adult. They would rather be a raspberry which stays on the plant indefinitely.
Logically speaking, what would happen to the raspberries which attempt to stay indefinitely on the raspberry plant??
They shrivel up and go rotten on the plant.
Or … they fall off onto the ground … and go rotten.
Raspberries which try to forever stay on the parent plant … the berries are a loss. They don’t become what they were made for. They don’t become delicious jam. They aren’t enjoyed as a breakfast treat. They just waste away and become rotten.
Lessons from a raspberry plant.
