Hubby and I stood on the front porch steps as we watched the Carvana lady drive our beloved little blue car out the gravel driveway to the car carrier waiting on the street.
I was thankful the car carrier was out there on the street where I couldn’t really see our beloved little car being loaded and taken away. But at the same time, I was thankful it was winter with all the leaves off the trees and bushes, so that I could still have a small glimpse of our little blue car being loaded.
It had been a grey drizzly morning. But much to our surprise the sun had come out in the afternoon. Sunlight played through the forest, casting bright patches here and there. I was thankful for the sunshine! We haven’t had sunshine in ages.
The car carrier was a 2-car carrier … and our little blue car was loaded on first. Hubby and I stood there in the cold, watching through the leafless branches of the forest. I was proud of myself for not crying. I had been begging God to please help me not to cry … and he had. God gave us sunshine! The sunshine helped! And he had sent us the most wonderful, jovial Carvana lady to pick up the car. Her positivity helped a lot! She joked with us and we couldn’t help but laugh. The laughter helped!
By now our little blue car was loaded … and the Carvana lady was busy loading the second car onto the carrier.
When everything was strapped down and anchored, she pressed the car key to make sure our little blue car was locked. It’s little “beep” from the street seemed as if it was saying “goodbye” to us one last time.
The Carvana lady climbed into the cab of the truck … and off our beloved little blue car went.
As she had been loading the car onto the carrier, I told hubby I was happy it could go like this … rather than being taken away by a tow truck. It’s still a good little car and it still has a lot of life left in it. For sure it will be needing some mechanical work. But it’s still a good little car.
Somewhere out there, there is probably a college student in need of a car … just like my daughter once was. And hopefully God will let our little blue car be a blessing to a poor, broke college student, just like my daughter’s first car was a huge blessing to her.
The day after the Carvana lady drove away with our little blue car, our pastor was preaching from Exodus 25 about the Tabernacle in the Wilderness. In Exodus 25-30 God gave instructions to the people of Israel for how to make the Tent of Meeting where He could be worshiped. God asked the people to bring him an offering for the construction of the Tabernacle.
My pastor made the statement that our worship is not just what we bring to give to God, but our worship is also what we let go of.
Whoa! That really resonated with me!
It has always made sense to me that when I give to God my giving is an act of worship to God. When hubby and I tithe, our monetary gift is our worship to God. When hubby and I sing our hearts out in praise at church each Sunday, our giving of our song is worship to God. When hubby and I give our time, resources, and energy help those who need help, this giving is worship to God.
But never before have I heard that “letting go” is every bit as much an act of worship.
This statement from my pastor was exactly what I needed! This was such a blessing to me!
“Letting go” is worship!
Letting go of our beloved little blue car is a tangible demonstration of my trust in God. It is a tangible demonstration of my obedience to God. “Letting go” is an external action of my internal faith in God.
“Letting go” is worship!
Something I’ve been pondering a lot recently is the question: Why does God allow us to feel sadness?? Why do we have to feel the sadness and pain of loss? It would be so much easier to “let go” if we didn’t feel sadness … or loss.
The thing is, we are made in God’s image. God himself has emotions … and he made us in his image and in his likeness to be able to have emotions too. God himself experiences sadness. This is a mind-blowing thought!
The sadness and loss I feel when I “let go” of something I care deeply about … God feels sadness and loss like that too! This blows my mind.
God cares deeply about every . single . person. And when people choose to reject God, God feels sadness and loss. Just like the sadness and loss I’ve been feeling about “letting go” of our beloved little blue car.
If I could make the painful emotions go away I probably would. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around the fact that God allows himself to feel sadness and loss.
Because God can feel sadness and loss, he is able to comfort us and be very near and present with us in our sufferings and loss. God comforts me in my sadness … because he knows how it feels. God gave me sunshine when our little blue car was being taken away … because God was comforting me in my sadness. God gave us a jovial, happy Carvana lady to make us laugh … because God was comforting me in my sadness.
There is a lot of pain in life which is so much greater than simply “letting go” of a beloved possession. Dear precious friends of ours had to “let go” of their little baby (via a miscarriage) a few months ago. Crushing sadness! Why God … why must we feel this pain?? Can’t you make the sadness go away so that we don’t feel it anymore??
There’s something important about being able to feel the sadness. There’s something important about being able to feel the pain. I don’t know what it is.
But I do know that when we worship through the pain … our worship is more real and authentic! Our worship is everything we have. It’s all we’ve got.
And maybe that right there is the point.
When we worship God in all our raw, vulnerable, brokenness … this is the truest form of worship we can give to God.
When we worship God through the sadness … through the pain … this is the truest form of our trust in God.
When we worship God through the “letting go” … this is the truest form of our faith in God.
“Letting go” is worship.
