My pastor made a statement recently which was incredibly powerful and profound: “You can either have your bitterness or your grandchildren, but you can’t have both.”
He was preaching on forgiveness. He had not started his sermon intending to preach on forgiveness, but that was the direction the Holy Spirit took the sermon halfway through, so he followed the Holy Spirit’s leading.
I have thought about this statement every day since!
As I look out our back window at the rain draining off our patio table cover, it is such a vivid picture of what forgiveness looks like.
Hubby and I had never had a patio table cover before … until this year.
I had assumed all the water would automatically run off the cover. But no. Shortly after we covered our patio table & chairs for the winter, we had a heavy rain! Lo and behold, the water didn’t drain off the table as I expected but rather collected down in the gap created by one of the chairs. As you can see it formed a rather deep chair-pond.
This is what it looks like to hold on to hurts.
Life “dumps rain” on us! People whom we love and trust do things which hurt us. The hurts pour down on our soul like a heavy rain!
We have a choice. We can either let those hurts “drain away” (via forgiveness), like rain draining off the patio table cover. Or we can allow those hurts to get trapped in pockets of our soul.
Most of the time we don’t intentionally intend for the hurt to get trapped in pockets of our soul. It just happens. Like the rain getting trapped in the pocket of mine and hubby’s patio chair. It just happened.
Before we know it, we’ve got a rather deep “pond” of pain which has collected in a pocket of our soul.
When I first noticed our patio-chair “pond” I was struck with how pretty it was. After all, just look how that still water reflects the beautiful sky and tall evergreen trees!
But if hubby and I were to leave the patio-chair “pond” … tree debris and skookum will no doubt begin collecting down in that pocket. Fallen leaves and cedar seeds will land in the water and sink to the bottom. The leaves will start to decay. Instead of clear water, the water in the patio-chair “pond” will become filled with “ick.” Slimy green mold will begin to grow.
Not only that, more rain is going to fall! Our winters are nothing but rain, rain, and more rain! The weight of all that water in the patio chair “pond” is only going to get heavier and heavier. If the water is never allowed to drain away, all that weight most certainly will result in the patio cover tearing and getting a rip in it.
The water needs to drain away!
This is what forgiveness is. Forgiveness is allowing the hurts to drain away.
When we don’t allow hurts to drain away, the hurt collects in pockets of our soul and begin for form a “pond” of pain. More hurts float down and land in our “pond” of pain. These hurts sink to the bottom and start to decay in our soul. Instead of a clear clean soul, our soul becomes polluted and filled with “ick.” Slimy green mold (aka: bitterness!) begins to grow in our soul.
This right here is what happens when we hold on to hurts and don’t forgive.
This right here is what bitterness looks like. It looks like a pocket in our soul filled with decaying “ick” and slimy-ness, getting heavier and heavier the more additional hurt keeps “raining down.”
If we allow the bitterness to keep accumulating, eventually the weight of it all will result in the tearing of what matters most to us. As my pastor stated: “You can either have your bitterness or your grandchildren, but you can’t have both.” Bitterness will so ultimately consume us that we will no longer have any time or love for our very own children or our grandkids … and our bitterness will wind up “ripping” the fabric of our life.
The weight of the water in mine and hubby’s patio chair “pond” was surprisingly immense! It wasn’t exactly easy to drain it all away. We had to be careful so as not to rip our patio furniture cover.
When it comes to hurt accumulating in pockets of our soul, it is not easy to drain it all away. We need Jesus to help us! We need Jesus to do the “heavy lifting” so as to help us not rip our soul … as we allow the weight of all the hurt to drain away.
Going forward, hubby and I need to keep a close eye on our patio furniture cover! We need to constantly be on guard to make sure pockets of water aren’t collecting. We need to constantly be vigilant to make sure the water is draining away.
Hurtful things will happen. Life will “rain down” on our soul.
Forgive.
Let the hurt drain away.
